I forgot to mention in yesterday's post what I woke up to...blood! Lillian, like her big brother Gabe, is prone to bloody noses. Sometime during the night (or more likely the early morning because Arnel says he didn't notice anything when he got up for work,) she had a bloody nose and didn't wake up, nor did I. Woke up to find dried blood on her face, as well as lots on the sheets. Gross. But, alas, the sheets needed washing anyway, so all's well that ends well I guess!
A little background on the next story. Isaac has sensitive skin. We first saw it on Christmas when he was about one-and-a-half. We bought him the cutest little polyester santa suit jammies. So cute, in fact, that he not only slept in them on Christmas Eve, but wore them all day on Christmas. By the end of the day he was covered in hives. I've steered away from man-made fabrics for him but this winter he fit in a very cool pair of Spiderman jammies that used to belong to Gabe. I figured that if they bothered him, he would let me know before it got to the point of causing any bad reaction. He has slept in them several times. Now that it is getting cooler he often leaves his jammie shirt on (typically he sleeps in long johns,) under his shirt for the day. Well, yesterday, he did that with the Spiderman shirt. Last night his torso was covered in itchy, red welts. I would have assumed it was the shirt but there were actually lots on his head and face as well. He used some of Arnel's shower gel rather than the usual mild soap in the shower last night, so I'm thinking maybe that was it? But he's used it before...maybe he just didn't rinse well?? Then he says that they were there before his shower, so I don't know. I give him some benadryl and send him to bed.
This morning they are there...worse if anything. More benadryl...no change. I notice a slight fever, too, so now I'm thinking maybe it is a virus of some sort. I have called the doctor and will take him in for a look this afternoon. Of course as any mother knows it is that call to the doctor that makes things begin to clear up...and sure enough they are somewhat less intense. I still want to take him in so I know if it is something that I need to keep him in for tonight. I hope not.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Another busy but fun weekend! Friday was payday and I took my big girls shopping for some much-needed cold-weather clothing. My best deals actually came for Lil, though, as Target had two racks of new fall clothes on clearance! Not everything I got was on clearance but I think I got her 3 pants, 3 shirts, a light jacket, two pair of jammies and two packs of socks (so like twelve pair,) for well under $50.
Saturday was a bit more shopping with the girls (Laura, especially, has money from her birthday burning a hole in her pocket,) and I got my hair trimmed. I have a bad habit of if I ever break down and get it cut into a decent style, never going back in to get it trimmed, so I am pretty happy about this! Saturday night was our monthly Lord's Supper celebration with our small group. We just hang out and have fun after dinner and communion. This month we played Cranium and as always, we learned a lot about our friends! Soooo much fun!
Sunday at church the kids from Children's church sang a song for us. Laura is no longer in children's church but helps with the singing, it was both boys singing and then Laura helping to lead. Gabe is at the age where it is sort of embarrassing for him to be up in front of the church singing and doing motions...you know, not too "cool." Arnel was cracking up about him having on his "game face." I commented that he was actually getting "into it" more than he has in the past. Arnel replied that Laura probably threatened him. Later when I was sharing this story with Gabe he thought for a second and said "Well, she did glare at me a lot when we practiced." LOL!!
After church I drove one of three vans of kids from the youth group to go trick-or-treating for food for the local rescue mission. They were in costume. It was actually a lot of fun and we wound up with a lot of food. A good experience for them to think of serving others.
Saturday was a bit more shopping with the girls (Laura, especially, has money from her birthday burning a hole in her pocket,) and I got my hair trimmed. I have a bad habit of if I ever break down and get it cut into a decent style, never going back in to get it trimmed, so I am pretty happy about this! Saturday night was our monthly Lord's Supper celebration with our small group. We just hang out and have fun after dinner and communion. This month we played Cranium and as always, we learned a lot about our friends! Soooo much fun!
Sunday at church the kids from Children's church sang a song for us. Laura is no longer in children's church but helps with the singing, it was both boys singing and then Laura helping to lead. Gabe is at the age where it is sort of embarrassing for him to be up in front of the church singing and doing motions...you know, not too "cool." Arnel was cracking up about him having on his "game face." I commented that he was actually getting "into it" more than he has in the past. Arnel replied that Laura probably threatened him. Later when I was sharing this story with Gabe he thought for a second and said "Well, she did glare at me a lot when we practiced." LOL!!
After church I drove one of three vans of kids from the youth group to go trick-or-treating for food for the local rescue mission. They were in costume. It was actually a lot of fun and we wound up with a lot of food. A good experience for them to think of serving others.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Just wanted to share some random words that are currently in Lillian's vocabulary:
Mommy, Daddy, Julia (Doo-uh,) Laura (Wa-wa,) Bubby, Rex (Wreck,) home, car, truck, me, mine, baby, girls, boys, guys, toys, up, down, please (peesh,) thank you, welcome, book, cheese (schwah,) cookie (cokie,) doggie, ice (ishe,)juice (joosh,) help you (which means 'help me,') yeah, yep, no, dirty, better, scary, happy, eewww, uh-oh, bird, butt, pretty, one, two, some, more, poop, stinky, yo, pizza, aw man, away...
I told you she'd had a language explosion lately!
Mommy, Daddy, Julia (Doo-uh,) Laura (Wa-wa,) Bubby, Rex (Wreck,) home, car, truck, me, mine, baby, girls, boys, guys, toys, up, down, please (peesh,) thank you, welcome, book, cheese (schwah,) cookie (cokie,) doggie, ice (ishe,)juice (joosh,) help you (which means 'help me,') yeah, yep, no, dirty, better, scary, happy, eewww, uh-oh, bird, butt, pretty, one, two, some, more, poop, stinky, yo, pizza, aw man, away...
I told you she'd had a language explosion lately!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
The latest on the lockdown...not much new but here you go...
Threats lead to Western lockdown, evacuation
Saturday, October 21, 2006
By PATTI BRANDT
TIMES WRITER
The morning started calmly enough.
Lesley Putt, a senior, dropped her brother off at the door to Bay City Western High School a little after 8 a.m. Friday.
But by the time she parked her car and walked back to the door, the school was in lockdown mode, with no one being allowed in or out.
When the day was nearly over and students were home safe, Superintendent Carolyn C. Wierda said the lockdown, and later evacuation, of Western's 2,500 middle and high school students was prompted by a ''series of circumstances.''
Michael Janiskee, undersheriff for the Bay County Sheriff's Office, said the school had received some vague threats and a suspicious item was found in a bathroom.
Janiskee would not elaborate on the threats or say what the suspicious item was, saying he did not want to trigger any copycat crimes.
Wierda said all the students were evacuated from Western and picked up by about 12:10 p.m., just four hours from when events began.
''For a building of that size, I think it went fairly well,'' Wierda said.
Threats to a school may be responded to with a lockdown, while a bomb threat may prompt an evacuation, two very different scenarios. It was the series of circumstances - the threats followed by the suspicious item - that caused Western to use two different plans Friday.
''While a district has a solid plan, we also have to be able to evolve our plan to meet the circumstances,'' Wierda said.
Janiskee said the school did everything right.
''Sometimes you're better off being overly cautious,'' he said. ''I feel very confident that the right steps were taken.''
But while the lockdown and later evacuation of the school was going on, students, teachers, parents and a nervous community were in the dark.
Rumors soon circulated - rumors of gunmen in the parking lot, bombs planted in the school, a 'hit list' of students and containers of lighter fluid left in a hallway. And picture messages sent out via cell phones of desks piled in front of the school's glass doors had many on the outside frightened.
''It's scary,'' said Putt as she watched the school Friday morning from a church parking lot across the street.
Chris Lutz was a little bit late for school on Friday, putting him outside of the locked doors.
''It's a really eerie feeling,'' said the Western senior.
On Oct. 10, Bay City Central High School was locked down after an area resident reported a teen with a gun outside the school. The weapon was later found to be an air pistol, but students spent about an hour under lockdown.
All of Western's students were evacuated from the school at about 10 a.m. Those who normally rode the bus home from school were taken home in buses. Those who walked or were picked up by parents were released to them at Williams Township Hall, just down the street from the school.
But students who had their own cars were the first to be released and were among the first to gather at the township hall.
Many of them had been inside the school when it was sealed up and described what it was like: Students were locked into classrooms with lights off, where they sat on floors, away from windows and doors.
Windows were covered with construction paper to keep anyone outside from being able to see in. A sheet of green paper hung in the window and another slid under the door to the hallway as a signal to those outside that everyone in the room was OK.
School officials announced that the event was a ''code red,'' and not a drill.
Students and teachers were told not to let anyone in the room or to answer the telephone. They were told not to use their cell phones, though many did, calling parents and friends and sending out picture and text messages.
When word was sent out that students would be evacuated to Williams Township Hall, the parking lot there and at the Auburn Williams fire station next door soon filled up, and cars lined Midland Street as people - most of them parents - arrived.
Many of them were confused and frustrated.
Like Rich Thompson, whose son and daughter attend Western High School.
''You don't know what's going on so it's a concern, a confusion,'' Thompson said.
Kathy Kerbleski, who has two sons at the high school, was crying.
''This is just getting to be too much,'' Kerbleski said. ''This is crazy.''
And Shawn Stieve, with three children at the school, spoke aloud the thought that may have been in everyone's mind.
''How do you know it's not a Columbine? You don't.''
Threats lead to Western lockdown, evacuation
Saturday, October 21, 2006
By PATTI BRANDT
TIMES WRITER
The morning started calmly enough.
Lesley Putt, a senior, dropped her brother off at the door to Bay City Western High School a little after 8 a.m. Friday.
But by the time she parked her car and walked back to the door, the school was in lockdown mode, with no one being allowed in or out.
When the day was nearly over and students were home safe, Superintendent Carolyn C. Wierda said the lockdown, and later evacuation, of Western's 2,500 middle and high school students was prompted by a ''series of circumstances.''
Michael Janiskee, undersheriff for the Bay County Sheriff's Office, said the school had received some vague threats and a suspicious item was found in a bathroom.
Janiskee would not elaborate on the threats or say what the suspicious item was, saying he did not want to trigger any copycat crimes.
Wierda said all the students were evacuated from Western and picked up by about 12:10 p.m., just four hours from when events began.
''For a building of that size, I think it went fairly well,'' Wierda said.
Threats to a school may be responded to with a lockdown, while a bomb threat may prompt an evacuation, two very different scenarios. It was the series of circumstances - the threats followed by the suspicious item - that caused Western to use two different plans Friday.
''While a district has a solid plan, we also have to be able to evolve our plan to meet the circumstances,'' Wierda said.
Janiskee said the school did everything right.
''Sometimes you're better off being overly cautious,'' he said. ''I feel very confident that the right steps were taken.''
But while the lockdown and later evacuation of the school was going on, students, teachers, parents and a nervous community were in the dark.
Rumors soon circulated - rumors of gunmen in the parking lot, bombs planted in the school, a 'hit list' of students and containers of lighter fluid left in a hallway. And picture messages sent out via cell phones of desks piled in front of the school's glass doors had many on the outside frightened.
''It's scary,'' said Putt as she watched the school Friday morning from a church parking lot across the street.
Chris Lutz was a little bit late for school on Friday, putting him outside of the locked doors.
''It's a really eerie feeling,'' said the Western senior.
On Oct. 10, Bay City Central High School was locked down after an area resident reported a teen with a gun outside the school. The weapon was later found to be an air pistol, but students spent about an hour under lockdown.
All of Western's students were evacuated from the school at about 10 a.m. Those who normally rode the bus home from school were taken home in buses. Those who walked or were picked up by parents were released to them at Williams Township Hall, just down the street from the school.
But students who had their own cars were the first to be released and were among the first to gather at the township hall.
Many of them had been inside the school when it was sealed up and described what it was like: Students were locked into classrooms with lights off, where they sat on floors, away from windows and doors.
Windows were covered with construction paper to keep anyone outside from being able to see in. A sheet of green paper hung in the window and another slid under the door to the hallway as a signal to those outside that everyone in the room was OK.
School officials announced that the event was a ''code red,'' and not a drill.
Students and teachers were told not to let anyone in the room or to answer the telephone. They were told not to use their cell phones, though many did, calling parents and friends and sending out picture and text messages.
When word was sent out that students would be evacuated to Williams Township Hall, the parking lot there and at the Auburn Williams fire station next door soon filled up, and cars lined Midland Street as people - most of them parents - arrived.
Many of them were confused and frustrated.
Like Rich Thompson, whose son and daughter attend Western High School.
''You don't know what's going on so it's a concern, a confusion,'' Thompson said.
Kathy Kerbleski, who has two sons at the high school, was crying.
''This is just getting to be too much,'' Kerbleski said. ''This is crazy.''
And Shawn Stieve, with three children at the school, spoke aloud the thought that may have been in everyone's mind.
''How do you know it's not a Columbine? You don't.''
Friday, October 20, 2006
Okay, a little more on the school situation...
when Julia got to school this morning she noticed two police cars there. Normally there would just be one but tonight is the football game with their crosstown rival and there has been vandalism in the past, so security supposedly is beefed up for that.
At 8:20 the principal comes on the intercom and says "Teachers, I need your attention NOW." Then there is a pause. All kinds of red flags going up for Julia at this point as generally it is "Teachers, sorry for the interruption, blah blah blah." Next statement is something like "This is a code red. This is NOT a drill."
Before the announcement was even over Julia's first hour teacher (whom, fortunately, she LOVES,) was out the door pulling in any students who happened to be out in the hall. (Once the lockdown is in place, there is no one going in or out those doors, period.) Another student takes it upon himself to pull a rolling bookcart in front of the door, and someone begins piling heavy book bags on top of it. I don't think the bookcart and bags are part of the official policy.
Students are not allowed to use cell phones, no radio or TV can be on, they aren't even supposed to do their class work. So, they basically are just sitting and chatting. The teacher at some point lets them know there is water, and a lined wastepaper basket to use if they have to use the bathroom (which two students, do, indeed, have to take advantage of before the lockdown is over.) These are in a supply closet of some kind connected to the classroom, so at least there is privacy. Occasionally the teacher will hush the kids completely (they are already supposed to be keeping quiet,) and listen at the door. Julia is scared at first but as time goes on it lessens. She is in a brick classroom, but is worried about others that are in classrooms with thin walls, lots of windows, multiple doors.
At 10:00 school is officially closed. Students who have cars are told to go immediately to their cars and leave. Julia gets a ride home from a boy that was in her class who lives near us. Though she isn't typically supposed to ride in cars with other teen drivers, she correctly assumes that it is the best choice in this instance. The buses have been called in and the rest of the students are told to get on their buses, or else are bussed to the nearby community hall to await pickup by their parents.
Thanks to friends we have that work for the local media, and the school system, we have heard bits and pieces, though nothing totally concrete yet. What we have pieced together is that an upperclassman heard a threat made yesterday. Today lighter fluid was found in a restroom. A student is said to have a hit list. There may have been an unknown person on school grounds, who was actually there for a construction groundbreaking that was to have taken place later in the day. How, if at all, these fit together, and which of them may actually have had a connection to what happened today, we don't know right now.
Julia says it was after she was on the way home that it felt scarier. She has been talking a LOT about it which is a very good thing, but also I think a sign that it affected her more than she realizes. Right now she is actually back at school at that football game. I think it is probably a good thing that she has this chance to debrief with her friends. Even though in the big scope of things, when compared to the tragedies that have taken place in schools, this was a non-issue, it is still very frightening. I am both pleased that the plan that is in place to protect our children is there and seemingly works, and at the same time very sad that it is necessary.
when Julia got to school this morning she noticed two police cars there. Normally there would just be one but tonight is the football game with their crosstown rival and there has been vandalism in the past, so security supposedly is beefed up for that.
At 8:20 the principal comes on the intercom and says "Teachers, I need your attention NOW." Then there is a pause. All kinds of red flags going up for Julia at this point as generally it is "Teachers, sorry for the interruption, blah blah blah." Next statement is something like "This is a code red. This is NOT a drill."
Before the announcement was even over Julia's first hour teacher (whom, fortunately, she LOVES,) was out the door pulling in any students who happened to be out in the hall. (Once the lockdown is in place, there is no one going in or out those doors, period.) Another student takes it upon himself to pull a rolling bookcart in front of the door, and someone begins piling heavy book bags on top of it. I don't think the bookcart and bags are part of the official policy.
Students are not allowed to use cell phones, no radio or TV can be on, they aren't even supposed to do their class work. So, they basically are just sitting and chatting. The teacher at some point lets them know there is water, and a lined wastepaper basket to use if they have to use the bathroom (which two students, do, indeed, have to take advantage of before the lockdown is over.) These are in a supply closet of some kind connected to the classroom, so at least there is privacy. Occasionally the teacher will hush the kids completely (they are already supposed to be keeping quiet,) and listen at the door. Julia is scared at first but as time goes on it lessens. She is in a brick classroom, but is worried about others that are in classrooms with thin walls, lots of windows, multiple doors.
At 10:00 school is officially closed. Students who have cars are told to go immediately to their cars and leave. Julia gets a ride home from a boy that was in her class who lives near us. Though she isn't typically supposed to ride in cars with other teen drivers, she correctly assumes that it is the best choice in this instance. The buses have been called in and the rest of the students are told to get on their buses, or else are bussed to the nearby community hall to await pickup by their parents.
Thanks to friends we have that work for the local media, and the school system, we have heard bits and pieces, though nothing totally concrete yet. What we have pieced together is that an upperclassman heard a threat made yesterday. Today lighter fluid was found in a restroom. A student is said to have a hit list. There may have been an unknown person on school grounds, who was actually there for a construction groundbreaking that was to have taken place later in the day. How, if at all, these fit together, and which of them may actually have had a connection to what happened today, we don't know right now.
Julia says it was after she was on the way home that it felt scarier. She has been talking a LOT about it which is a very good thing, but also I think a sign that it affected her more than she realizes. Right now she is actually back at school at that football game. I think it is probably a good thing that she has this chance to debrief with her friends. Even though in the big scope of things, when compared to the tragedies that have taken place in schools, this was a non-issue, it is still very frightening. I am both pleased that the plan that is in place to protect our children is there and seemingly works, and at the same time very sad that it is necessary.
Julia was released from school this morning due to a School lockdown. Click the link to read the story and see the news clip.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Seems as if I haven't updated in a bit!
Well, fall is definitely here. The trees are past their peak already and moving into dull browns and dark yellows for the most part. We've had our first snow. The ground was too warm for anything to stick but Lillian was impressed none-the-less. She loved the "ishe" falling all around.
I hit Target on Friday and had a successful trip. I found a great gift for Lil on clearance that will be either her Santa gift or her birthday gift. I also found some new dishes for half-off so bought those. I love stoneware but with kids it just doesn't have a long "shelf-life" so we were really due for some new. I'm enjoying a cup of coffee in my new mug for the first time this morning. They only had two sets left, though, so I may have to make a trip to some other nearby Targets to see if I can find one more. Eight bowls is not really enough for us if we have cereal for breakfast and soup for dinner, for example.
Yesterday some friends took us to a nearby pumpkin patch. Thanks Jeff and Marie! It was really cute. Isaac and Lillian, of course, enjoyed it the most. My animal-lover Isaac had a blast at the little petting zoo.
Lil was really scared of that part.
Oddly enough she loved riding the pony, though!
The tractor ride was also cute. They have little scenes set up all over of different fairy tales, Disney shows, nursery rhymes, etc. Lillian cried when we had to get off!
Lillian is in the midst of a language explosion. New words left and right. Isaac is beginning to read. I was just on the verge of thinking maybe we should put that on the back burner for a bit and then all of a sudden the light bulb went off for him! Gabe and Laura are sailing along. Gabe is in his version of heaven-on-earth with it being football season. Laura is of course getting very excited with birthday plans. She is keeping it pretty low-key. No big gift requests...she just wants me to take her shopping. She is just inviting three friends over for a sleepover. Making it pretty easy on Mom. Julia is still enjoying school. She seems to have a personality that helps her "click" with her teachers which is of course a huge plus! She isn't fond of American History at all, so we will see how that goes when first grades come out. She is riding the bus this year meaning she has to be ready an hour earlier than last year. This is a huge thing as last year was tough enough. She's only missed once so far! As it starts getting colder out that will get old fast, I'm sure, but she had toughed out her circumstances so far. Speaking of which...she also sprained her knee at a soccer game weekend-before-last. She was bad enough that I actually took her to the doctor and those of you that know me well will know that I rarely do the doctor thing. It is healing well but she is still on "light duty." Hoping she will be able to play this coming weekend. Arnel is in the midst of the busy season at work so we aren't seeing as much of him as we'd like. Poor guy rarely has a chance to sit down and when he does he falls asleep!
One more photo for you!
Well, fall is definitely here. The trees are past their peak already and moving into dull browns and dark yellows for the most part. We've had our first snow. The ground was too warm for anything to stick but Lillian was impressed none-the-less. She loved the "ishe" falling all around.
I hit Target on Friday and had a successful trip. I found a great gift for Lil on clearance that will be either her Santa gift or her birthday gift. I also found some new dishes for half-off so bought those. I love stoneware but with kids it just doesn't have a long "shelf-life" so we were really due for some new. I'm enjoying a cup of coffee in my new mug for the first time this morning. They only had two sets left, though, so I may have to make a trip to some other nearby Targets to see if I can find one more. Eight bowls is not really enough for us if we have cereal for breakfast and soup for dinner, for example.
Yesterday some friends took us to a nearby pumpkin patch. Thanks Jeff and Marie! It was really cute. Isaac and Lillian, of course, enjoyed it the most. My animal-lover Isaac had a blast at the little petting zoo.
Lil was really scared of that part. Oddly enough she loved riding the pony, though!
The tractor ride was also cute. They have little scenes set up all over of different fairy tales, Disney shows, nursery rhymes, etc. Lillian cried when we had to get off! Lillian is in the midst of a language explosion. New words left and right. Isaac is beginning to read. I was just on the verge of thinking maybe we should put that on the back burner for a bit and then all of a sudden the light bulb went off for him! Gabe and Laura are sailing along. Gabe is in his version of heaven-on-earth with it being football season. Laura is of course getting very excited with birthday plans. She is keeping it pretty low-key. No big gift requests...she just wants me to take her shopping. She is just inviting three friends over for a sleepover. Making it pretty easy on Mom. Julia is still enjoying school. She seems to have a personality that helps her "click" with her teachers which is of course a huge plus! She isn't fond of American History at all, so we will see how that goes when first grades come out. She is riding the bus this year meaning she has to be ready an hour earlier than last year. This is a huge thing as last year was tough enough. She's only missed once so far! As it starts getting colder out that will get old fast, I'm sure, but she had toughed out her circumstances so far. Speaking of which...she also sprained her knee at a soccer game weekend-before-last. She was bad enough that I actually took her to the doctor and those of you that know me well will know that I rarely do the doctor thing. It is healing well but she is still on "light duty." Hoping she will be able to play this coming weekend. Arnel is in the midst of the busy season at work so we aren't seeing as much of him as we'd like. Poor guy rarely has a chance to sit down and when he does he falls asleep!
One more photo for you!
Monday, October 09, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
The story behind the letter below is that there is a person in Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archaeological finds. This guy really exists and does this in his spare time! Anyway...here's the actual response from the Smithsonian Institution.
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078
Dear Mr. Williams:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled
"93211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post...Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.
Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety that one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be "Malibu Barbie." It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings.
However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:
The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-homonids.
The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it.
Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon-dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon-dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were
produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon-dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results.
Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name Australopithecus spiff-arino.
Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know
that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your Newport back yard.
We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it.
We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the transpositating fillifitation of ferrous ions in astructural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Chief Curator-Antiquities
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078
Dear Mr. Williams:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled
"93211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post...Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.
Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety that one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be "Malibu Barbie." It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings.
However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:
The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-homonids.
The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it.
Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon-dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon-dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were
produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon-dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results.
Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name Australopithecus spiff-arino.
Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know
that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your Newport back yard.
We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it.
We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the transpositating fillifitation of ferrous ions in astructural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Chief Curator-Antiquities
Friday, October 06, 2006
From "The Cybersalt Digest" email list...
Today's CleanLaugh - "Signs of Aging"
You know you're getting older if:
1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8. When happy hour is a nap.
9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
Today's CleanLaugh - "Signs of Aging"
You know you're getting older if:
1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8. When happy hour is a nap.
9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
15 Ways to Annoy People
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper,99 copies.
2. Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
3. Practice making fax and modem noises.
4. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO GO."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions to "keep them tuned up."
7. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
8. Finish all your sentences with the words, "in accordance with prophesy."
9. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
10. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
11. Honk and wave to strangers.
12. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
13. Sing along at the opera.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
15. Ask your coworkers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about psychological profiles.
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper,99 copies.
2. Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
3. Practice making fax and modem noises.
4. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO GO."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions to "keep them tuned up."
7. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
8. Finish all your sentences with the words, "in accordance with prophesy."
9. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
10. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
11. Honk and wave to strangers.
12. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
13. Sing along at the opera.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
15. Ask your coworkers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about psychological profiles.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Okay, first things first...my husband is perturbed that I haven't blogged about his car excitement. A couple weeks ago he went out to lunch with a friend and came out to find a dent in his car fender! No note, nothing. He thinks it may have been am employee or friend of an employee.
Yesterday I was a vendor at a scrapbooking event for the first time. It was a fundraiser for a local church school. There were about 70 women there, and maybe a dozen vendors, but at only about half of use were selling scrapping supplies. Laura stayed with me and kept me company. It was very time-consuming to prepare for...figuring out what to bring, how to set up, etc., but now that that basic groundwork has been done any future opportunities like this should be much easier. Anyway, we went to set up at 8 AM and the crop was from 9-6. The ladies paid $25-$30 to attend but as vendors we got in free, except for the cost of donating a raffle prize. It included breakfast, lunch and snacks as well. Plus, Laura and I took our own scrapping supplies and were able to scrap ourselves! I sold about $65 retail, not much, but I learned a lot about how to do this kind of thing and had a great time! I hope I get to do something like it again. I think it is a much better "fit" for me than doing in-home party-type events would be. Vending and teaching classes/hosting crops.
The most exciting part to blog about today, though, is that yesterday was Julia's homecoming dance! She was invited her freshman year but declined and also decided against going with just some friends. This year a whole group of them went (Julia doesn't "date," just group stuff.) It was Julia, her boyfriend Pablo, and her friend Stephanie...they wound up rounding up a group of ten, all the rest being boys except for Pablo's cousin. Rather than go out to eat first they all came here and we ordered (a LOT of) pizza. Lots of the parents hung out here for awhile, too, while we did the picture thing. After a quick game of basketball (!) Arnel and Stephanie's mom drove them off to the dance. Julia had a wonderful time, apparently danced most of the night, although it was in a big circle of kids, mostly girls, rather than one-on-one boy-girl dancing. More fun, plus she learned that boys don't know how to dance!
It was so fun to see her all dressed up as she is not a frou-frou kind of girl...good thing for us, too!
Julia and Stephanie
Julia and Pablo
Yesterday I was a vendor at a scrapbooking event for the first time. It was a fundraiser for a local church school. There were about 70 women there, and maybe a dozen vendors, but at only about half of use were selling scrapping supplies. Laura stayed with me and kept me company. It was very time-consuming to prepare for...figuring out what to bring, how to set up, etc., but now that that basic groundwork has been done any future opportunities like this should be much easier. Anyway, we went to set up at 8 AM and the crop was from 9-6. The ladies paid $25-$30 to attend but as vendors we got in free, except for the cost of donating a raffle prize. It included breakfast, lunch and snacks as well. Plus, Laura and I took our own scrapping supplies and were able to scrap ourselves! I sold about $65 retail, not much, but I learned a lot about how to do this kind of thing and had a great time! I hope I get to do something like it again. I think it is a much better "fit" for me than doing in-home party-type events would be. Vending and teaching classes/hosting crops.
The most exciting part to blog about today, though, is that yesterday was Julia's homecoming dance! She was invited her freshman year but declined and also decided against going with just some friends. This year a whole group of them went (Julia doesn't "date," just group stuff.) It was Julia, her boyfriend Pablo, and her friend Stephanie...they wound up rounding up a group of ten, all the rest being boys except for Pablo's cousin. Rather than go out to eat first they all came here and we ordered (a LOT of) pizza. Lots of the parents hung out here for awhile, too, while we did the picture thing. After a quick game of basketball (!) Arnel and Stephanie's mom drove them off to the dance. Julia had a wonderful time, apparently danced most of the night, although it was in a big circle of kids, mostly girls, rather than one-on-one boy-girl dancing. More fun, plus she learned that boys don't know how to dance!
It was so fun to see her all dressed up as she is not a frou-frou kind of girl...good thing for us, too!
Julia and Stephanie
Julia and Pablo
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